For the last 13 years I have spent my time dreaming of becoming a famous bassoonist and orchestral musician. And yesterday I dreamed of going into space. My dreams were always realistic, despite being difficult to achieve though. So that’s why I got really excited when I started picturing myself doing missions in space. It’s … More How Dreams Change
We all have a “future self”. We like to envision what we would look like as an ideal version of ourselves. It’s natural and it’s what keeps us motivated to continue improving. My future self has changed a lot over the years but surprisingly, the main idea of who I would become has stayed pretty … More My Future Self
Today was my day of triumph!! Let’s start with the beginning: our sleep-deprived hero is awakened by the deafening sound of her phone alarm. Groaning in protest, she slowly rises, like a Phoenix from the ashes. But for real, today started off as a pain in the dick. I got 2 hours of shitty sleep … More Le Jour du Triomphe
Once in a blue moon my insomnia relapses. I used to have intensely bad insomnia, often staying up until sunrise and napping during the day. I phased out of insomnia by waking up super early very regularly and changing my environment to eliminate stressors. But sometimes, on nights like these, I just don’t want to … More So tired…can’t sleep.
Saying that weight lifting has alleviated my symptoms is a little over-simplified. Muscle growth seems to have lessened my pain by at least 50% but here I sit in between sets on Shoulder/Chest day with a flare brewing in my left leg. So the act of picking things up and putting them back down isn’t … More How Strength Has Helped Me Overcome Symptoms
Yeah I’m sure it looked as cute as it sounds. Granted, I just let go of a few silent, frustrated tears, but I could have easily gone full-estro if I had been alone. When my body fails me, it’s such a personal thing. It hurts my heart and it feels like an attack on my … More Cried in the Squat Rack
I have been sizes 4-16 over the last 10 years. I have loved myself through all of those phases, but I can also say that at times my body image issues made my life difficult. In high school, I was lean and slender having been the varsity tennis captain and training consistently. My parents fed … More Body Image and Chronic Pain